April 14, 1998 - Howard Pulver, my father passed away at 3.00am EST today.

The following is the words that I will be reading at his funeral service:

Reflections from Jeff

Growing up - my father made it a point to instill in all of his children information and experiences he felt we needed to have in the "real world". He also taught us how important being part of a family is. He instilled values in us which I'm only starting to appreciate now - since I've had the time to reflect back and think about my dad. My dad lead by example and showed us all how to survive.

My dad was a very private person, and he rarely mixed his work activities with his family life. He believed in the separation between work and family.

Those of you who knew my dad will remember him for his generosity, hospitality and his tenderness. He always made himself available to help others. As a child growing up my dad's traits become woven into the fabric which became part of our lives. Reflecting back, I'm only now starting to realize all of the things we really do take for granted. My dad was truly one of the people others went to help solve their problems and seek advise.

Lessons learned from my father:

Family Vacations - My dad felt strongly about family vacations. Each year the entire family went away to spend time together. We had a chance to explored parts of the world together. Even as we all got older my dad tried his best to help teach us about the importance of being part of the family and being there for each other.

It is ok to have a strong will - One could say that Howard Pulver was a strong willed and Determined man. The point is that he taught us to stand firm in what we believe in.

S.L.T. - My dad taught us to Stop, Listen and Think before we spoke

Talk Straight. Say what you mean. Be direct and don't beat around the bush

Encouraged Our Creativity - Both my sisters and myself were strongly encouraged to pursue our own interests - whether they were photography, art, computers or ham radio. Most of our family vacations were a haven for our hobbies. Be Adventurous - Go out into the world, explore new places and never be afraid. I still remember a family vacation to Japan when the five of us who were jetlagged took our ten pieces of luggage and took the bullet train from Tokyo to Kyoto. Think about a family of five taking 10 pieces of luggage on the NY City Subway during rush hour. When we got to the destination, we had less than 90 seconds to get ourselves and all our luggage off the train. This was one of our many family adventures.

Be smart about the life situations you get yourself into. One of my dad's favorite stories is the story he told about two brothers who rented a truck in South Carolina and bought a truckload of watermelons for $2 each. These brothers drove all the way to New York City and setup their truck right by the NY Midtown tunnel. They put up a sign - fresh farm Watermelons - only $2 each. After a hard day of selling these brothers sold out their truckfull of watermelons. While counting the money they earned - one brother went to the other and said - Bobby - I told you we should have rented a bigger truck! Moral of the story: Don't knowingly enter into a break-even business.

Give all of yourself to your kids - I have lost track counting the sleepless nights my father spent trying to help us with our school projects and with our business plans. He set an example which I think many people would have a hard time following and I only hope to have the same ability to give of myself to my kids with so much energy and devotion.

Dad I know we are all going to miss you. You will always be a part of our hearts and soul and you have helped mold us into the people that we have become.

Love, Jeff

Note: The speeches from my sisters Lauren and Michele are also online.